Monday, January 3, 2011

We Will All Be Judged

I find it amazing how things have changed since becoming a mom.  Everything has changed including how I look at life, others, and what I want to do in my life.  When we are children, our parents try their very best to teach us to be good people and always treat others with respect.  They try to teach us life lessons and how to contribute to this world we live in.  Some of us try our best, but always feel like we could be doing more.  Others just do enough to get by, and yet others seem to have never figured out that life is not always about them.

I have recently realized through reading some other fellow bloggers posts, that we are all judged.  We are judged, critiqued, criticized, applauded, and sometimes ridiculed for the way we do things.  I think I have only realized this now, because I didn't really care before.  I only had me to worry about, and as I have stated before I do what I want and don't usually care what others think.  I have a few very good friends who know this about me and I love that they love me for being me.  A person I consider my best-friend, but has moved away recently got me a dish towel for Christmas.  I know you all are thinking what a silly thing.  But I love to cook and it really was the most perfect gift for me.  The pictures of them are below and I love it!!  My towel says, "I'm not bossy. You just need to be told what to do."


Anyways, since having a child I have realized that everything I do now will be judged.  People may not intend to be critical or judge how I raise my child, but they do.  When someone asks you a question about your child, what they are really wanting to know is if you are doing it RIGHT in their eyes.  Most people believe there is a right way and wrong way of doing things.  Yes, I am one of those people.  However, I also understand that my right and wrong way of doing things is not for everyone.  This is where we end up having problems.  If you don't agree with something a person is doing, that is fine, but it seems more and more people are getting in the middle of things that don't really affect them.

Here are just a few examples of things I know people have not agreed with me on and what they have said:

Cosleeping with my son - People say it's unsafe, it's bad for your sex life, you won't get enough sleep, he will never leave your bed, and so on.

Cloth Diapers - It takes too much time, they cost too much, it's gross, they are too hard to use, they are inconvenient.

Baby Wearing - It's dangerous, you are spoiling him, those are expensive things to spend money on.

Not having a crib - Where will he sleep, why doesn't he sleep in his own bed, he needs to learn how to put himself to sleep.

Solid Food - He needs to start them soon or he won't like food, babies have to have cereal for the vitamins, they have to have purred foods or they will choke, starting him on finger foods is dangerous.

Not leaving Jack with a baby sitter - It's not good for you marriage if you don't have alone time, you need time for your self, he will be fine if you leave him.

AND the list goes on.  But what I have come to realize, is that it's okay.  I have come to terms with the fact that I am going to be judge and not everyone is going to agree with me and how I raise Jack.  That is okay, because I don't AGREE with everything they are doing to raise their children either.  We all do what we think is best for our children and our families.  This is where we all have to realize that we will not agree or even like what all of our friends do with their families and children.  It is our obligation however, to be supportive of our friends and family.  We are each others support system and it is very important that we can trust that our wishes will be met, rules will be followed, and children will be respected in every way, if we are not around for some reason.

I think we can all agree that we as a human race will never stop being judgmental.  But we can learn to be better people and live with what we cannot change.  We can all live our lives the best way we know possible and hope that will be enough.

1 comment:

  1. I love reading your blog posts! I completely agree with your feelings on how people are about how you raise your child. I think you are one of the best mothers and how you raise your child is between you and your spouse. You are right, we are all judged, but the good thing is you can just ignore all those who try and tell you that you are doing things wrong. I've never understood people who can try and say something is wrong, such as cosleeping or solid food when they haven't tried it themselves. I also complete agree with skipping the jar baby food because it is not necessary. I don't get where people think a baby needs that nasty jar food when being breastfed is the best nutrition possible. Anyways, just my two cents for the day. Good to see you guys the other day. Jack is a cutie!