Wednesday, January 26, 2011

What Makes Us Stay at Home Moms Vs. Working Moms

Since becoming a mom, I have heard many other moms talk about how they either love being home with their kids or couldn't wait to get back to work after their maternity leave.  I have started to wonder, what is in us that makes us want to be stay at home moms or working moms?  I know there is that other factor we have to think about... paying the bills.  But I wonder, why do women say they couldn't stay at home?

Why do they say, they are a better mom when they go to work?  YES, I have heard this.

Why do they think they couldn't be around their children all day?

Here is what I wonder and ask my husband when I hear women say this... "Then why do they have children?"  Is there someone out there that can help me with this question?  I have always known, that when I had a child, I would make it work so that I could stay home.  One way or the other, I would be there for my child.  I had no desire to have children and then send them to daycare all day.  I want to be the one to feed them, care for their every need, watch them grow, take their first step, say their first word, watch as they explore new things, and be there to kiss their boo boos when they fall.

So, do mothers who work and enjoy working feel they are missing out?  Do they feel bad, or is this just the way they were raised and feel this is normal for them?

I also wonder what daycare is doing to the past few generations.  Have any of you noticed how spoiled and bratty children are getting?  Have you noticed how parents never think their children could do any wrong?  Have you noticed how parents think their children are perfect in every way?  Have you noticed if an adult approaches the parent about a problem with the child they become so defensive?

Is there something wrong with the way we are raising our children, have things changed so much?  When did we stop teaching our children to say please and thank you?  When did we stop teaching our children to be polite to everyone?  When did we stop teaching children to share?

I'm finding that with more and more people working full-time and leaving their children with caregivers at day cares, there seems to be some disconnect.  Parents start to feel guilty, which in turn leads to spoiling their children when they have time to spend with them.  Because let's be honest, how much time does a working parent really get to spend with their child?  A typical day starts around 8:30am so here is what a typical parents day would look like.

6:30am - 7:30am - Wake up, Eat, Shower, Get dressed, Feed Children, Dress Children
7:30am - 8:00am - Get into the Car, Drop Off the Kids, Get to Work
8:30am - 5:30pm - Work
5:30pm - 6:00pm - Pick up the kids, Drive Home
6:00pm-8:00pm - Cook Dinner, Eat Dinner, Bath time, Homework, Playtime
8:00pm - Kids into bed

So If you look at that, you are getting about an hour and a half of quality time, and that is if you don't have kids that have to do homework.  Somewhere in this crazy world we have gotten away from what is really important... FAMILY.  Our days are filled with paying bills, running errands, working, chores, and phone calls.  Sometimes we just need to stop and take a minute to realize that life is quickly passing us by.  Our kids will be grown before we know it, and have their own fast paced lives.  Take advantage of the time you have with them now, because before you know it, that time will be gone.  I am grateful that I am able to stay at home with my son.  Not to say that we don't have our crazy days, but I wouldn't trade them for anything. 

So, are you a stay at home mom who loves her full time job of caring for her children?  Or are you that full time working parent?  I would love some feedback as to how you made your decision to stay at home or go back to work after having children. 

1 comment:

  1. What about those who want to stay home but may not be able to financially? That is kind of the boat we are in right now. I want to stay home more than anything. In fact when I was little, if you asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, it was a mommy. I've wanted kids my entire life and to stay at home. There would be no better job than to be a stay at home mom in my eyes. However I have come to the realization that I just may have to continue to work if I want kids anytime soon.